I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
