actually, I'm a sock model
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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