shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
