I'm jealous of your bromance
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
