i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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