I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
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Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
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And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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