In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
