I want to walk on stilts...naked
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
