1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
