so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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