You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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