ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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