do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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