I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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