from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
