help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
