Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
