There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
