I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
