Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
