hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
