So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize