Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
