I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
