well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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