I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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