i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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