i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
