We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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