I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
