I need to stop coming to work sober
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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