belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
