What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
