I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
