i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
