are you still at the devil's house?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
