I need to stop coming to work sober
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
