So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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