I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
