I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Did I show you my penis last night?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
