My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I need to sanitize my soul.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
