Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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