You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
