I can text with my tongue
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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