Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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