Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Randomize
