Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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