Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
