Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
