What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
