I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
