i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
