Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
