so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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