She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
