I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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