better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
