Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
