just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
do herpes really smell.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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