White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
